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Friday, 6 September 2013

Quite a lot of nonsense.

Posted on 07:43 by Unknown
Warning for: length, tangents, national generalisations based on no empirical data, gratuitous Pushkin references, and other howlers. It’s Friday. It’s been a long week.
 
There are several conversations that I love. One of them I have each morning, as the Horse Talker and I lean over the fence and observe the mares, and pretend we are discussing herd behaviour and horse husbandry and the human condition, when in fact we are inventively trying to find one hundred and forty-seven ways to express how wonderful our girls are.

There are the obsessive racing conversations. I adore those. I particularly like the ones I have with my mother, because she can remember Sea Bird and Arkle and Mill House and Mill Reef and Nijinsky and the mighty Brigadier. She was there, in her elegant hat, at those storied Derbies and Gold Cups and Legers and Arcs. She saw records being smashed and history being written. Sometimes, to give the thing an added piquancy, she was following the ambulance, as Dad fell at the fifth and had to be carted off to hospital.

And then there are the conversations where you know you can go anywhere, and the person you are talking to will follow. Usually, they will leap over you and arrive at the destination three steps ahead. Oddly, quite often, these are had with strangers. I had one this morning, with a man to whom I had just been introduced. He wears his cleverness modestly and diffidently, in the true British tradition, and it took me a moment to realise I had to bring my A game. Actually, I don’t think I even understood that consciously. It was only afterwards that I had the sense of shifting gear, only looking back on that exhilarating half hour of chat that I saw myself, retrospectively, going into turbo drive.

It was during my daily HorseBack visit. I went in for a perfectly ordinary discussion, about logistics and practical things and the plan for next week. I was introduced to the gentleman, and within two minutes we were off to the races. We talked of the nature of courage, of neuroscience, of evolutionary biology, of gender difference; of hippies, nature, the power and rarity of silence. We talked of the First World War, and societal expectations, and love.

I get so excited when I have these kind of conversations that I say absurd things. At one point, I heard myself saying, ‘Oh yes, authenticity is one of my favourite words.’ At one point, I actually spoke these sentences: ‘It fascinates me that in every society in the world, men are supposed not to cry. Of course, there are certain places in the Middle East where ulultations are acceptable, and there is Russia, with its tradition of melancholy. But even there a man is only allowed to cry if he has drunk half a bottle of vodka and is speaking of Puskin.’

What was I talking about? Do Russian men really sit about and drink vodka and speak of Puskin and weep? Where did I get such an outlandish notion? This is what happens when I get over-stimulated: I make rash extrapolations and wild generalisations. Still, I do stand by the oddities of the current Russian mores of masculinity, if Mr Putin is anything to go by. All that riding shirtless and posing with big guns. Although I suppose one cannot judge an entire people on its rather peculiar president. The fretful, discursive liberals of the Upper West Side would not have liked to be defined by the faux-Texan swagger of George W Bush, any more than the Tea Party Republicans would thank one for putting them in the same bracket as that ghastly commie, Barack Obama. (I love that people really do think Obama is a communist, or a socialist at the very least. ‘No, no,’ I shout at the screen; ‘he really does not want to nationalise the means of production.’)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, talking nonsense. But even when I make perfectly preposterous statements, I still find it entirely delightful to have such a gentleman to talk to. He was very polite and kind about the whole Puskin/vodka thing. He just carried on being quietly clever.

Cleverness is not very fashionable at the moment, in certain circles. I think it’s partly to do with the complicated derision for elites which has sprung up in the last decade. Besides, the British have always been suspicious of too much learning. ‘Too clever by half,’ is an ancient insult here. But the knee-jerk disdain for the ghastly Oxbridge elites who think they can run the country, but, crucially, have no idea how the real world works is a fairly novel political development.

Personally, I love an elite. I adore it when people are really, really good at things. When I watch Andy Murray play tennis, or Ryan Moore or Johnny Murtagh or Ruby Walsh ride a race, or Yo-Yo Ma play a cello, I am dazzled by their brilliance. They are absolutely elite, at the very crest and peak of their powers. I want the people who run things to be exceptionally intelligent and highly educated. I wish for the novelists and poets to be as elite as all get out, as they play with the language of Shakespeare and Milton.

Perhaps the confusion comes between the meaning of elite – best or most skilled – and elitism, which contains the idea that those at the top get special treatment or unfair privilege. It shades into snobbism and us and them; there is the idea of poncy people peering down their superior noses at the rest of us oiks. (I think there is a muddle too about games which have a zero sum. If someone is exceptional, it does not mean that everyone else is pointless, useless and feckless.) Cleverness, which is quite a separate thing, then gets conflated with the dark side of elitism, and before you know it, a good university degree means you are a horrid, out-of-touch posho, with a sneery disdain for the ordinary woman in the street.

I think this is a pity. Cleverness, lightly worn, is one of life’s great joys. I felt so exhilarated and galvanised by talking to the clever gentleman this morning, it was as if I had taken a double dose of iron tonic. I spend an awful lot of time contemplating the dearness of my mare, or what will win the 3.40 at Newcastle (today, I hope a lovely filly called Filia Regina). The book I am writing is a fairly simple story, very much a thing of first principles. I’m not galloping about over any intellectual prairies, which is probably lucky for my readers. So to engage in conversation where I had to stretch my brain to keep up felt like a rocket boost.

And now I’m going to go and drink some vodka and read Puskin and weep.
 
Today’s pictures:

Are not from today. Too dreich for the camera. An entirely random selection from the archive instead:

6 Sept 1

6 Sept 2

6 Sept 3
6 Sept 4


6 Sept 4-001
6 Sept 5

6 Sept 5-001

6 Sept 7

6 Sept 7-001

6 Sept 8

6 Sept 8-001

6 Sept 8-002

6 Sept 9

6 Sept 9-001

6 Sept 10

6 sept 30

















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Posted in cleverness, interesting people, life, my mother, racing | No comments

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Random thoughts. Or, I have almost no idea what I am talking about.

Posted on 09:17 by Unknown

My mind is filled with thinking. I have, variously, thoughts on: slowing down and the making of a stew, the Special Relationship, reliability, and the things one takes for granted. I wonder: shall I take one out and hold it up to the light, or shall I try and cram them all in?

Oh, cram them all in, shouts my competitive spirit. (Although I have no idea with whom I am competing.)

Slowing down:

Since taking on new responsibilities, I live my life in a rushing dash. I quite often find myself talking to people when I am standing up and they are sitting politely in a chair. It is as if I believe that even stopping to sit will slow me too much. Today, it is suddenly cold and driech. I decided to make a stew. You can’t rush a stew. So instead of the usual hurried ham sandwich in the kitchen, I stayed a while and chopped up carrots and celery and onion and browned the beef and thought about the alchemy of cooking. My midday kitchen moment stretched to almost an hour. Usually, I would regard this as a squandering of time. Today, I thought: it doesn’t really matter. I’ll make it up. It is good to remember about proper food and the care taken in making it. Rushing does not always mean everything is done faster. It just feels that way.

The Special Relationship:

All the pundits are convinced it is over. Crash, bash, shatter goes the historical link between London and Washington, as Mr Cameron loses his Commons vote on Syria. I think this is hyperbolic nonsense. I wonder whether, on a personal level, President Obama might feel more humanly tied to the Prime Minister now. At last, he might be thinking, David Cameron knows what I have to deal with, as recalcitrant congressman and senators filibuster and block and take stupid votes on repealing healthcare reforms. Their late-night chats might now be conducted man to man, rather than office to office. That is just my hunch.

On a wider level, America and Britain have always loved and hated each other. They are like courting teenagers: sudden moments of pash, interspersed with angst and sullen resentment. The right wing always likes to go misty-eyed over Thatcher and Reagan, but the President marched into Grenada with ruthless disregard for Mrs Thatch’s impotent fury. The linguistic and cultural ties run too deep for rupture. The two countries always forgive each other. As long as they send us Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey, and we send them Hugh Laurie in House and Helen Mirren in anything, the love will endure.

 

Reliability:

I have a new theory on what makes a good horsewoman. I think about this a lot, you may be amazed to hear.

I come to the conclusion that perhaps the most important virtue is reliability. It’s not sexy or flashy or headline-grabbing. But if half of human life is showing up, then so is horse life. You’ve got to put in the hours, be there come rain come shine, make the steady routine. Horses like a good leader, but you’ve got to earn it, from the ground up. Respect and trust can’t be conjured into existence; they take hours and days and months.

Reliability too is not just the pitching up kind, it’s also the consistency of attitude. If they know that you will not shout, will not take out your own frustrations on them, will never ask them to do something they do not know how to do (and then get cross when they don’t do it), they may relax and be happy. They have a steady human on which they may rely. Equines have amazing memories, and they store everything away. So I like my little reliability theory. It will win no gleaming cups or fancy rosettes, but I get profound satisfaction from the idea that Red knows she has a human on whom she may depend.

The things one takes for granted:

Along with the small things, this is one of my themes. I return to themes over and over, like Mr Stanley with his big stick. I refine them and remind myself of them and turn them over in my mind.

Today, I spoke to a veteran who cannot hear the hissing of a bus door closing without wanting to take cover and scan the streets for possible threats. Sometimes he even drops to the ground before he can stop himself. Sudden noises of any kind can bring on a violent anxiety attack. Sound, for most people a given or even an enhancement of life, is for him a trigger and a barrage.

At the same time, my back is still very sore from idiotically falling off that broncing horse last week. (Not Red, for those just joining us; quite another mare.) Things I do easily, without thinking, like getting out of the car or putting on my socks, are suddenly painful and fraught with difficulty. I think: don’t take for granted that I can hear loud bangs with no reaction at all, and that, when I am not falling onto my arse, I can depend on my body to work. I know this sounds very chicken soup for the soul-ish, but I like to write these things down, so I don’t forget.

 

Today’s pictures:

Are also entirely random, from the last few days:

5 Sept 1

5 Sept 2

5 Sept 2-001

5 Sept 2-002

5 Sept 3

5 Sept 4

5 Sept 5

5 Sept 8

5 Sept 8-001

5 Sept 10

5 Sept 10-001

This is almost the face I love the most, although it is not the most beautiful. Donkey dozy face, and everything about her so relaxed she might fall over. This is when she brings stillness into a high art:

5 Sept 11

5 Sept 11-001

5 Sept 14

5 Sept 17

Hill:

5 Sept 20

I want to say Happy Friday. But in fact it is Thursday. It feels like a Friday, that is all. No idea why. Be happy anyway.

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Posted in horses, life, thoughts | No comments

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Remembering to stop.

Posted on 09:02 by Unknown

I’ve been thinking lately about beauty. I talk about it and contemplate it and count the blessings which brought me to this place where there is so much of it. I harp on about the trees and the lichen and the small, lovely things. But sometimes, for all that, I think I forget to look.

I’m so busy, rushing about, trying to fit everything in, that my glance has become cursory. Oh yes, there are the glorious blue hills as I drive on my daily way to HorseBack; there are the delightful HorseBack horses; there is the handsome face of Stanley the Dog; there is the gaudy loveliness of Red the Mare. There is my hill; here are the trees. Yet my eyes skate on, as I add, inevitably: I am half an hour late; I must write this; I must remember that. Even with my sweet mare, who brings stillness to a high art, I am often thinking of all the things I shall do with her: teach her to jump, improve her transitions, sharpen up my own riding skills.

This afternoon, I just went and hung out with her. The Horse Talker and I lined our girls up and gave them a bit of a brush and a bit of a chat. We did not really do anything. We just appreciated them, in all their delightfulness, and thought how lucky we were.

Instead of my usual dash at HorseBack, where I run in, take pictures, discuss things which need to be discussed, and then tear away straight back to my desk to do the Facebook page for them, and any other necessaries, I stayed for half an hour and watched two of my favourite horses being free-schooled.

It was a most beautiful sight: the aesthetics of the horses cantering at liberty with the indigo hills in the background were off the scale.

I went into the garden just now and instead of thinking of all the weeding and tidying and trimming I have not been doing (not enough time, not enough time) I gazed happily at my three favourite Scots pines. I can’t even remember the last time I did that.

I suppose it’s the old thing of pausing to smell the roses. I think I do all that, but in fact I don’t. Not enough. There is time to stop and stare. There must be time. I would do well to remember that.

 

Today’s pictures:

Are two little photo essays of the equine beauty I let myself see today. Even if you have no interest at all in horses, I think you might like these for the sheer aesthetic hit.

Free-schooling:

4 Sept 1-004

4 Sept 2

4 Sept 2-001

4 Sept 1-003

4 Sept 3

4 Sept 8-001

4 Sept 9

4 Sept 5

4 Sept 1-001

4 Sept 1-002

And in my own field:

4 Sept 20

When I say we did absolutely nothing, we did in fact have a little play about, and Stanley the Dog came too.

We haven’t done a join-up for ages. I’ve never taught Red to do it properly, in a round pen. I just extemporised in a four acre field. The very fact that she chooses not to wander off into the green spaces still amazes me every time. Even more amazing, this afternoon, she hooked on straight away, and we did a little dance:

4 Sept 21

CLEVER GIRL:

4 Sept 23

One more delicate Jane Austen turn:

4 Sept 23-001

Oddly, I think of working my mare like a gavotte in a Jane Austen novel. Everything very polite, everything a gracious invitation, everything with its own, 19th century rhythm. I don’t know why I think these sort of nutty thoughts, but I do.

And what is so very lovely is how pleased with herself she looks when she has mastered all the steps so perfectly:

4 Sept 26

At her most profoundly settled and calm, with floppy old donkey ears, dozy eyes, wibbly lower lip:

4 Sept 26-001

And then I just gaze at her in awe and wonder. How on earth did I get so lucky as to end up with such a person?:

4 Sept 31

And then it was time for tea:

4 Sept 26-002

Aside from playing with the horses, Stanley the Dog very much likes a hard game of stick wrestle with the Horse Talker, his new favourite person:

4 Sept 30-001

And here is double beauty, from a couple of days ago:

4 Sept 30-002

And afterwards I went and actually did look at the flowers:

4 Sept 27

4 sept 28

And my beloved troika of trees, which remind me of great old elephants’ feet:

4 sept 29

The hill:

4 sept 30

Rather tired as it’s been a long and packed day. I’m certain that there shall be typos. Possibly even grammatical howlers. Forgive.

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Posted in beauty, horses, love, loveliness, Red the Mare, Stanley the Lurcher, The Horse Talker | No comments
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  • ▼  2013 (206)
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      • Quite a lot of nonsense.
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